Naked Truth..

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know
We please the fleeting guest
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.

Walking on Eggshells....

William shakespeare in Hamlet said "My words fly up ,my thoughts remain below.words without thoughts never to heaver go"
Be it a relationship,friendship,platonic engagements or anything that is played by adam and eve ....why do we have to undergo the microscopic lethalness of words that people without any idea bestow on us,our character,our relationships,,Why should man want to present himself or any acts in a silver plate to the outside world which otherwise seems so chill and freezes without any regard to the emotion underneath....why should we walk life under the scrutiny????
I have seen perfect relationships around me break into glass pieces without a trace of storm over arguments involving harsh Words....Nicking people with words has become what we say a fashion statement..In yesteryears people engaged in games like dance,drama to engage themslves..today people engage in nicking and slashing people with words,,,words which act like swords in any man's life...which are brutal and always leave stains....and scars which cant be undone.....

"Stick and stones, may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Remember that little rhyme from childhood?
I say its fucking nonsense@@##$$%Z%

Today am dwelling coz one of the closest people in my life was on tenterhooks coz some green eyed bitch could'nt digest a happy life of a counterpart ...... so what do we do put her life upside down..the green eyed biatch mailed the love of her life and fed him with lies puking on the poor girls character and nicking at her for practically even the way she farted in discomfort...they say jealousy thy name is woman..and in every right it is..i havent see any man doing such ridiculous things..
I have experienced jealousy when my guys gaze would linger on a nice looking girl but never like this...face it people there are better people in the world and why be soo judgemental of everyone around you..Does jealousy get the better of us all the time???. folks excuse "nicking" as just being brutally honest. In my experience, most of the folks who brag about being brutally honest enjoy the brutality more than the honesty....Am a straight forward person myself but never have i ever stepped over someone's character...
If the other person tells you that you have no right to your feelings, it may be because they do not really understand how emotions work. Or perhaps they want to divert attention from their own bad behavior by blaming you instead.

I have been in a relationship where i was walking on eggshells but am growing and growning well outta it,its important we realise....
Realize that our emotions belong to us They are real and they are ours. We have a right to respect owr own feelings, values and dignity, and to ask that others do the same.
Moving on to relationships...
Most people get involved in a relationship for the right reasons and leave a relationship for the wrong reasons..i walked outta mine coz i felt abused verbally ,emotionally and when a relationship becomes abusive its time to call it quits coz a relationship without respect is a hollow relationship and i dont think its bad... In fact, most of us have been guilty of it at one time or another and of being a complete spaz demanding we get our way in the relationship. Remember the movie He Said, She Said? A constant power struggle ensues when you make the relationship all about you. So why do we do it?Why do we get into one...Am single but why do i in my head scan people to think if they would be a lasting relationship material..why is there a need always for us to be fussed over by someone of the opposite sex..am blessed in my life with a stable family,care and love and friends who would always back me up..why then do i always sie people and their worth by putting them in the same frame....Do i really need a relationship or is it because people frown when they see single..it is slowly become a synonym for undesired...Am single but definitely not ready to mingle am happy on my own why still when i sleep i have thoughts that make me lonely..calling the realtionship quits was a personal choice i made ..then why do i dwellin my past ..what is that my life lacks..a companion maybe with whom we share our darkest deepest secrets..wonder what am i looking for.definitely not aother relationship.....Am closing my eyes and praying not to lay flat in the trap society nets out for me...i need wisdom and i need prayers to keep the sunshine alive..my life cant be defined by a set of Adams...
I believe the reason this happens is that we make unhealthy relationship choices. In our deepest inner desires, we naturally long for companionship and love in our lives. In our haste, we choose unwisely and compromise for that "next person" that comes along to satisfy that longing. In this context, it's easy to bend and flex because in the beginning we still don't know that person. Then as we do get to know them, we find ourselves making more compromises because we don't have the guts to fess up to our mistakes and all sorts of other irrational reasons rambling through our head to avoid hurting someone else. Bad move, fess up.

Muh new neck accessory :Muh Dog Collar

Just a month through with the TMTP program, as soon as I land in Delhi am welcomed by an excruciating pain in muh left shoulder and neck, So like most of us would do I squeezed out almost half a bottle of volini and a brufin and I announced to myself it’ll be o.k in the morning.. It just grew worse by the night. I cried the pain into the poor pillow but nothing seemed to happen. I lay awake wondering what the bloody pain was all about. Anyway I get dressed in the morning to go to work and forced a smile to my not so smiling face as if to camouflage the pain I underwent. After a yummy treat of banoffee at Big Chill , the afternoon session began …
The pain became unbearable, muh batchmates ,Ass and three otha musketeers as I call em (who are the only sane people in our overhyped program) rushed me to the doc.

Whoa our doc was this Indian version of Richard Gere charm , with salt and pepper hair and a voice as deep as the ocean ,I forgot all about my pain..But the bones that lay in his clinic as decorative structures scared the daylights outta me ,I started imagining if mine would be added there as a souvenir after the visit as well…I was told to get an MRI scan done and man the scan was crazy. I was put in an enclosed shuttle for 20 minutes which at that time seemed a lifetime and my hands were tied with strict instructions not to move an inch or the whole process would have to be restarted. The scan began. Apparently through the sound vibration and the nerve reactions to the sounds which kept getting louder and my tears kept soaking the sheets on which I lay, I was adjudged to have pain in C5 C6 area of the nerve that attached the spine. Thankfully after what seemed an eternity while I had imagined my death and written my will in my head at that time and prayed for muh loved ones
the scan stopped and I was pulled out of the chamber after which I must have wept for good 10 minutes, surprised I was still alive or something.

The whooping bill of Rs.5000 for the scan left me short of a heart attack and my plans of gifts and shopping at GK and our dilli special Sarojini Nagar went down the drain.
With the forced bed rest and a dog collar adorning my neck I felt like a dead camel minus the height bit, I have been a cross between being a junkie and a zombie.
With 9 tablets a day divided between morning noon and night ,I wake up only to have food and then the pills which induce sleep into me again. pain and the pills that keep me drowsy and disoriented through the day. I wake up groggy after a night of fitful sleep, take my morning dose and spend the day in a daze till it is time for my night dose, after which I spend till bed-time nodding off sitting on the sofa flipping through 120 channels after which my hand starts hurting and I give up .

P.S = Am the sort of person who hates the attention and am totally pathetic at responding to the courtesies of how are u feeling beta, is the pain still there (no am just hallucinating it aunty and the pills taste like Cadbury Gems ),oh you look much better to day and I look in the mirror and realise I could scare a Frankenstein’s monster with my physical appearance.
So, I decide to come home .Have been home for 2 weeks now wondering how much I’ve missed and the amount of work ill have to cope up with,.I.ve been dissapointed but the visit to the hospital made me realise that there is so much suffering in our surroundings that people go through, it gave me courage enough to go through the hospitalization for 2 days with continous traction, which is suspending weights from the chin and the shoulder and lying in bed in a constant position.
But am coping with all of it although pain is a lonely place to be but disappointments will always come our way ,we need to laugh em away.To think of a perfect life is wishful thinking ,but guess it’s now that I realise that it takes only me to tell me that I will be fine and trust me if u sleep with that thought u will feel better the next day. So I have chosen a peaceful reaction to life’s disappointments and urge all u out there suffering or just plain disappointed with life to choose the same .During this pain guys I must tell you that I went shopping sneakingly and also danced with muh dog collar on because I choose to be happy and give my strict bed rest a freakin break though its really not recommended coz the pain afta that was unbearable and the answer that I gave to all those people who asked me what happened after looking at me sporting the dog collar to the dance floor ,,my answer was “it’s nothing guys ,am just hiding muh hikkies……
Love ya all..
And hey don’t tell me the cliché “get well soon”which is muh version of temme in advance when would u just kick the bucket ,so I can stitch muh funeral dress)
I’ll pen down by saying “laugh it away” and you’ll recover ..

Overrated TMTP peeka boos

Its always the same feeling.., like a lil girl entering first grade, butterflies in the tummy ,dew drops in eyes with the same sad parting feeling of trading a total comfort zone to coming to terms with a brand new world of fresh faces ,uncanny smiles, jilted expressions..

Take 2 : Picture this:-.a chaotic Indian railway journey with all these new people where Uno served as the only ice breaker. I was so uneasy with the thought of conversation and the verbatim of formal introduction rounds, with eyes scanning to conclude and draw nonsensical judgements on each others nature and past digs .I wondered to myself if this is what I had aspired for. We were these bunch of girls from varied backgrounds, varied cultures spanned across the Indian continent, put together as the chosen ones for the prestigious TMTP from all over India,wonder how they did that though in my case coz am sure a misfit here with all these nerds around me.but the only thing am proud of is that atleast I don’t fake being mtself,i dare to say what I think though its really not appreciated in the kind of industry am in ..but like I really care a fig!!! The fakeness of a few faces alerted my senses , however the warmth and genuinity of a few was a relief. I wonder sometimes why people are not comfortable in their own skin, why pretend being all sugar caramel coating when the insides a burnt bun….personally I come from a background where we respect honest behaviors even if not polished, with an innate ability to sniff the wannabe Goody two shoes who are soo conscious of hiding their trueself....i understand diplomacy but hypocrisy is a major turnoff.....I don’t understand why should people hide who they truly are and what they’ve been., who the f** has the time n energy to get into details but why lie..its crazy how people coat their true self n their past varnishing it with false lies with an attempt to gather sympathy or sometimes just to hide the blemishes, but like h3y say the more u coat these things the more they shine out… .it’s crazy ..just be yourself man. .n wateva and whoeva you are we al rock in our own special ways. .i mean i do (lol;).. cant ignore myself for to long ;))
I longed for a warm hug and a glancing at the watch striking five .my mind longed for my mum's chai session and our famous long conversations in the balcony over and everything under the sun .With an uncomforting solace I forced myself to sleep...
Take 3:
Welcomed by the heat and humidity of Mumbai , the days at the Taj Mahal progressed. We were in the lap of sheer luxury, the extravagance of the full breakfast buffet, from laundry, housekeeping and cab drop a phone call away we were spoilt to the core. .
Just wish this year gets through well hoping to Kick ass …..

Celebrating Women's Day(or just providing SYMPATHY!!!)

Women's Day ...really why is it that the men dont have a day tributed to them like we do ..the real reason coz they are the ones who are truly liberated since the time they fucking start breathing life..i have nothing against Men in general I want to clear that in the first place as am blessed with the not soo traditional male in my life and family who take pride in Me and in all my endeavours but this is crying out loud to the society around me and the average male dominated world still.... when i was reading the newspaper this morning ..i asked myself why is it that we celebrate a day devoted to ode the Women..why not have a men's day...are we really liberated ????..when we earn money and are independent why is that stories of independence are glorified abt girls entering the male bastions and conquering "their world" like they put it..i mean i do everyhting that any Guy could possibly do....but if a girl earns money it is always referred to as "additional income ".that is sheer disgrace ..and the guy is the bread earner and even if the girl earns more than the guy .. Remember ladies it would always be Additional Income...i read an article day before where a woman drowned her 3 girls coz she wanted a boy and the girlchild was a liability as they were poor .. first started with the "Mumbai Molestations" as media referred to it. Two women were groped and pinched in public and the women accused didnt even want to press charges coz of family pressures .. these were educated women.the literate and the aware ones, why has the society become so insensitive and not to forget the boohaa created a self righteous guy went and told the media that it was the girls fault as they were partying on new years eve and were inappropriately dressed and must have been drunk already ..i mean is partying a crime for ladies ... lets first clarify what is an appropriate dress,the saree where in ur breasts are soo prominently shaped and seen from both side angles and the waist which can be seen right till rthe navel not to forget the blouses and the backs and super cleavage eye popping sights..Like if we're covered from head to toe, men would totally keep their hormones in check and worship us? Why is it that the first question that pops up when such a thing happens is about the woman's conduct or lets put it if they were asking to be groped? I mean, WTF I just don't get it.
jeese for christ sake the Le Meridian incident wherein the poor NRI girl was told that giving a BMW as dowry and getting all cozy with the father Inlaw was Indian tradition of having harmony and she should not raise her voice and what is the society doing abt such things,when will we be spared of all this bullshit ...
i recently happened to travel for an interview in Jaipur and i had to travel by bus and this guy oops a man travelling with his wife and child was my biggest threat ,i mean can u imagine the audacity of him staring at me continoulsy for almost three hours and the wife is looking elsewhere not bothered and simply ignoring her beau's tactics to get my attention..wish i was a goons daughter so i could shoot all of these people i mean for christ sake ..when his lil son in the wife's arms started crying and instead of helping his wife to calm the child he looked embarassed..sure he wouldnt be so when he was planning the child or accidently had him..till when will we pretend like all this never happened..fucked up man!!



Pray lets wake up please!!

Setups....thats what i call em.?//

Relationships

The first word that comes to my mind is ‘complex’ when I hear that word, there’s nothing like an ideal there!!
My friend the other day was whining about the fact that she hates it when her guy talks about all his previous conquests so openly in front of her ,laughing at it or sometimes sermonizing in front of his friends or when they are in a group, it is demeaning to hear ur guy say all that especially with the current girl around if I may put it .Its insulting and if I were her (tho that wud neva be) I would throw hot soup in his freaking face.Its disgusting , have heard their fights and he claims he is being honest .Honest bullshit. .Think about it would anyone wanna discuss the nitty gritties of all the past and then dig out the muck and throw at each oher or when there’s a heated discussion happening .Talk about hypocrisy its sheer insensitiveness towards your partner as she would be the next girl soon in the list .I hope not though. .fingers crossed.%%
.I think that this kind of stuff should be reserved for an intimate moment alone with one’s partner.. coz flashbacks serve no pupose jus spell War…and I don’t consider spilling out gory details as deceitful it is practical guys for crying out loud ..i mean that poor girl hearts of hearts is at all times complexed coz she never knows when would she be compared o some random person and is at all times rather coy about all those feelings lest they also be paraded in public…coz u never know when such details willl be thrown at them. .Its important to be sensitive to your partners need when u claim u r in a relationship. .Its not about planning trips together but its also about being there, .knowing all those unspoken things… a warm hug,saying ure there , I mean my father till now is the only man I have known who knows at all times what maa likes and surprises her often coz she is this person who would just never demand anything ..I mean I have never come across any1 as satiated as her. .she is satiated with life that its unimaginable a thing that none of her children have acquired…being satisfied ..i mean look at me .the day I got a car I wanted a nice music system..when I got that i wanted woofers ,when I got that I wanted to drive my dads car!:)..but hey we are not talking of me at the moment…I mean am the sort of person who verbalizes every need ,every aspect of my life ..i have grown in an extremely communicative environment wherein each word that I said was respected, argued, fought shared, joked but the bottom line is it was always given an attentive ear and respected.. !!
I think that was a very nurturing experience as It is important to articulate feelings and emotions…ALMOST ALWAYS...watsay??