The Last Cry in Vain ........

There were so many times I Wondered how I’d get through the night
I Thought I took all I could take when i was wheeled in that noon
I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled knowing fully well what was to come 
But I did not crumble I got through all the pain thinking i could save it one last time ...I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back upHold my head up high and out came without a cry I was not built to break...
i knew i had to wait ...
I didn’t know my own strength..till the last breath and the gush of blood and the stillness of the minute till the end ..
now i lay awake in my darkest deepest hour thinking how i would regain and forget what we so lovingly would call our own ......

Now the physical pain seems to fade away , the tears have dried in regret and now what seems like a wait for faith to rebuild its way..I wish i could learn to share my emotions the way i do swell up here ....i know life would go on but the feelings that this had brought in me seem gone a little bit  in  vain ...

Now when am all ready to embrace the world and get back to the clamp of the keyboard , i miss my little bump..i miss the daily calls if I my had my vitamins in time ..i miss the names and the planning of all that was to come ...i notice every baby figuring how it would be to have my own ....

Little did i know i'd ever long this feeling ..little did i know life would turn this way ...the advices and the phone calls are assuring ..the questions painful yet reassuring ...Am grateful for the love i got ,but i don't know how to deal with pain ..i never have been good at sharing emotions ...i sit in silence with the memories soo vivid , the visual so fresh that i don't know what to hold on to and when to let go.....

I sit here trying to keep faith..hoping it will become a memory and fade away ....as all i have now is FAITH anyway !!