Muh new neck accessory :Muh Dog Collar

Just a month through with the TMTP program, as soon as I land in Delhi am welcomed by an excruciating pain in muh left shoulder and neck, So like most of us would do I squeezed out almost half a bottle of volini and a brufin and I announced to myself it’ll be o.k in the morning.. It just grew worse by the night. I cried the pain into the poor pillow but nothing seemed to happen. I lay awake wondering what the bloody pain was all about. Anyway I get dressed in the morning to go to work and forced a smile to my not so smiling face as if to camouflage the pain I underwent. After a yummy treat of banoffee at Big Chill , the afternoon session began …
The pain became unbearable, muh batchmates ,Ass and three otha musketeers as I call em (who are the only sane people in our overhyped program) rushed me to the doc.

Whoa our doc was this Indian version of Richard Gere charm , with salt and pepper hair and a voice as deep as the ocean ,I forgot all about my pain..But the bones that lay in his clinic as decorative structures scared the daylights outta me ,I started imagining if mine would be added there as a souvenir after the visit as well…I was told to get an MRI scan done and man the scan was crazy. I was put in an enclosed shuttle for 20 minutes which at that time seemed a lifetime and my hands were tied with strict instructions not to move an inch or the whole process would have to be restarted. The scan began. Apparently through the sound vibration and the nerve reactions to the sounds which kept getting louder and my tears kept soaking the sheets on which I lay, I was adjudged to have pain in C5 C6 area of the nerve that attached the spine. Thankfully after what seemed an eternity while I had imagined my death and written my will in my head at that time and prayed for muh loved ones
the scan stopped and I was pulled out of the chamber after which I must have wept for good 10 minutes, surprised I was still alive or something.

The whooping bill of Rs.5000 for the scan left me short of a heart attack and my plans of gifts and shopping at GK and our dilli special Sarojini Nagar went down the drain.
With the forced bed rest and a dog collar adorning my neck I felt like a dead camel minus the height bit, I have been a cross between being a junkie and a zombie.
With 9 tablets a day divided between morning noon and night ,I wake up only to have food and then the pills which induce sleep into me again. pain and the pills that keep me drowsy and disoriented through the day. I wake up groggy after a night of fitful sleep, take my morning dose and spend the day in a daze till it is time for my night dose, after which I spend till bed-time nodding off sitting on the sofa flipping through 120 channels after which my hand starts hurting and I give up .

P.S = Am the sort of person who hates the attention and am totally pathetic at responding to the courtesies of how are u feeling beta, is the pain still there (no am just hallucinating it aunty and the pills taste like Cadbury Gems ),oh you look much better to day and I look in the mirror and realise I could scare a Frankenstein’s monster with my physical appearance.
So, I decide to come home .Have been home for 2 weeks now wondering how much I’ve missed and the amount of work ill have to cope up with,.I.ve been dissapointed but the visit to the hospital made me realise that there is so much suffering in our surroundings that people go through, it gave me courage enough to go through the hospitalization for 2 days with continous traction, which is suspending weights from the chin and the shoulder and lying in bed in a constant position.
But am coping with all of it although pain is a lonely place to be but disappointments will always come our way ,we need to laugh em away.To think of a perfect life is wishful thinking ,but guess it’s now that I realise that it takes only me to tell me that I will be fine and trust me if u sleep with that thought u will feel better the next day. So I have chosen a peaceful reaction to life’s disappointments and urge all u out there suffering or just plain disappointed with life to choose the same .During this pain guys I must tell you that I went shopping sneakingly and also danced with muh dog collar on because I choose to be happy and give my strict bed rest a freakin break though its really not recommended coz the pain afta that was unbearable and the answer that I gave to all those people who asked me what happened after looking at me sporting the dog collar to the dance floor ,,my answer was “it’s nothing guys ,am just hiding muh hikkies……
Love ya all..
And hey don’t tell me the cliché “get well soon”which is muh version of temme in advance when would u just kick the bucket ,so I can stitch muh funeral dress)
I’ll pen down by saying “laugh it away” and you’ll recover ..

Overrated TMTP peeka boos

Its always the same feeling.., like a lil girl entering first grade, butterflies in the tummy ,dew drops in eyes with the same sad parting feeling of trading a total comfort zone to coming to terms with a brand new world of fresh faces ,uncanny smiles, jilted expressions..

Take 2 : Picture this:-.a chaotic Indian railway journey with all these new people where Uno served as the only ice breaker. I was so uneasy with the thought of conversation and the verbatim of formal introduction rounds, with eyes scanning to conclude and draw nonsensical judgements on each others nature and past digs .I wondered to myself if this is what I had aspired for. We were these bunch of girls from varied backgrounds, varied cultures spanned across the Indian continent, put together as the chosen ones for the prestigious TMTP from all over India,wonder how they did that though in my case coz am sure a misfit here with all these nerds around me.but the only thing am proud of is that atleast I don’t fake being mtself,i dare to say what I think though its really not appreciated in the kind of industry am in ..but like I really care a fig!!! The fakeness of a few faces alerted my senses , however the warmth and genuinity of a few was a relief. I wonder sometimes why people are not comfortable in their own skin, why pretend being all sugar caramel coating when the insides a burnt bun….personally I come from a background where we respect honest behaviors even if not polished, with an innate ability to sniff the wannabe Goody two shoes who are soo conscious of hiding their trueself....i understand diplomacy but hypocrisy is a major turnoff.....I don’t understand why should people hide who they truly are and what they’ve been., who the f** has the time n energy to get into details but why lie..its crazy how people coat their true self n their past varnishing it with false lies with an attempt to gather sympathy or sometimes just to hide the blemishes, but like h3y say the more u coat these things the more they shine out… .it’s crazy ..just be yourself man. .n wateva and whoeva you are we al rock in our own special ways. .i mean i do (lol;).. cant ignore myself for to long ;))
I longed for a warm hug and a glancing at the watch striking five .my mind longed for my mum's chai session and our famous long conversations in the balcony over and everything under the sun .With an uncomforting solace I forced myself to sleep...
Take 3:
Welcomed by the heat and humidity of Mumbai , the days at the Taj Mahal progressed. We were in the lap of sheer luxury, the extravagance of the full breakfast buffet, from laundry, housekeeping and cab drop a phone call away we were spoilt to the core. .
Just wish this year gets through well hoping to Kick ass …..

Celebrating Women's Day(or just providing SYMPATHY!!!)

Women's Day ...really why is it that the men dont have a day tributed to them like we do ..the real reason coz they are the ones who are truly liberated since the time they fucking start breathing life..i have nothing against Men in general I want to clear that in the first place as am blessed with the not soo traditional male in my life and family who take pride in Me and in all my endeavours but this is crying out loud to the society around me and the average male dominated world still.... when i was reading the newspaper this morning ..i asked myself why is it that we celebrate a day devoted to ode the Women..why not have a men's day...are we really liberated ????..when we earn money and are independent why is that stories of independence are glorified abt girls entering the male bastions and conquering "their world" like they put it..i mean i do everyhting that any Guy could possibly do....but if a girl earns money it is always referred to as "additional income ".that is sheer disgrace ..and the guy is the bread earner and even if the girl earns more than the guy .. Remember ladies it would always be Additional Income...i read an article day before where a woman drowned her 3 girls coz she wanted a boy and the girlchild was a liability as they were poor .. first started with the "Mumbai Molestations" as media referred to it. Two women were groped and pinched in public and the women accused didnt even want to press charges coz of family pressures .. these were educated women.the literate and the aware ones, why has the society become so insensitive and not to forget the boohaa created a self righteous guy went and told the media that it was the girls fault as they were partying on new years eve and were inappropriately dressed and must have been drunk already ..i mean is partying a crime for ladies ... lets first clarify what is an appropriate dress,the saree where in ur breasts are soo prominently shaped and seen from both side angles and the waist which can be seen right till rthe navel not to forget the blouses and the backs and super cleavage eye popping sights..Like if we're covered from head to toe, men would totally keep their hormones in check and worship us? Why is it that the first question that pops up when such a thing happens is about the woman's conduct or lets put it if they were asking to be groped? I mean, WTF I just don't get it.
jeese for christ sake the Le Meridian incident wherein the poor NRI girl was told that giving a BMW as dowry and getting all cozy with the father Inlaw was Indian tradition of having harmony and she should not raise her voice and what is the society doing abt such things,when will we be spared of all this bullshit ...
i recently happened to travel for an interview in Jaipur and i had to travel by bus and this guy oops a man travelling with his wife and child was my biggest threat ,i mean can u imagine the audacity of him staring at me continoulsy for almost three hours and the wife is looking elsewhere not bothered and simply ignoring her beau's tactics to get my attention..wish i was a goons daughter so i could shoot all of these people i mean for christ sake ..when his lil son in the wife's arms started crying and instead of helping his wife to calm the child he looked embarassed..sure he wouldnt be so when he was planning the child or accidently had him..till when will we pretend like all this never happened..fucked up man!!



Pray lets wake up please!!

Setups....thats what i call em.?//

Relationships

The first word that comes to my mind is ‘complex’ when I hear that word, there’s nothing like an ideal there!!
My friend the other day was whining about the fact that she hates it when her guy talks about all his previous conquests so openly in front of her ,laughing at it or sometimes sermonizing in front of his friends or when they are in a group, it is demeaning to hear ur guy say all that especially with the current girl around if I may put it .Its insulting and if I were her (tho that wud neva be) I would throw hot soup in his freaking face.Its disgusting , have heard their fights and he claims he is being honest .Honest bullshit. .Think about it would anyone wanna discuss the nitty gritties of all the past and then dig out the muck and throw at each oher or when there’s a heated discussion happening .Talk about hypocrisy its sheer insensitiveness towards your partner as she would be the next girl soon in the list .I hope not though. .fingers crossed.%%
.I think that this kind of stuff should be reserved for an intimate moment alone with one’s partner.. coz flashbacks serve no pupose jus spell War…and I don’t consider spilling out gory details as deceitful it is practical guys for crying out loud ..i mean that poor girl hearts of hearts is at all times complexed coz she never knows when would she be compared o some random person and is at all times rather coy about all those feelings lest they also be paraded in public…coz u never know when such details willl be thrown at them. .Its important to be sensitive to your partners need when u claim u r in a relationship. .Its not about planning trips together but its also about being there, .knowing all those unspoken things… a warm hug,saying ure there , I mean my father till now is the only man I have known who knows at all times what maa likes and surprises her often coz she is this person who would just never demand anything ..I mean I have never come across any1 as satiated as her. .she is satiated with life that its unimaginable a thing that none of her children have acquired…being satisfied ..i mean look at me .the day I got a car I wanted a nice music system..when I got that i wanted woofers ,when I got that I wanted to drive my dads car!:)..but hey we are not talking of me at the moment…I mean am the sort of person who verbalizes every need ,every aspect of my life ..i have grown in an extremely communicative environment wherein each word that I said was respected, argued, fought shared, joked but the bottom line is it was always given an attentive ear and respected.. !!
I think that was a very nurturing experience as It is important to articulate feelings and emotions…ALMOST ALWAYS...watsay??

Friend For life:)

This woman has become such am important part of my life!! the very thought of her going away and me not able to meet her got me jitters..Shes someone who will never be judgemental of u..who'd respect you even if u killed a tousand people coz her heart was cast in gold..she truly is an amazing soul and i wish her a life of love and happines wherver she is..we've spent crazy times together,been silent soo comfortably in each others presense and done the craziest stuff together..!!
just want you to know that youre very special in muh life!!
looking forward to crazier times together;)
mwaahzz:)

Bitter Sweet Memories...

After all the boo haa that was created… For the first time I realized the meaning of the phrase "BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER".. When the phone call came through ,it took but a moment to finish feelings ,smash to smithereens the memories, break the wall of the little faith that the woman I took as a Godmother had in each other, the person I soo admired and idolized and prized more than my own Mother.
Not that I have regrets...but it all went in vain.
there was soo much to be said and cleared but it was’nt the time, and there were no chances given .Perhaps coz the loudness in tone was a medium to justify their own shortcomings but that had nothing to do with the woman I loved so dearly. Her position and relationship with her kin was of utmost importance to her but if she were the woman I idolized there would be chances give, the tone would be calmer if not composed the anger would be enveloped if not hidden.
Maybe someday life would show reality, maybe not ,i feel stupid in having letting someone affect my existence to such a great extent ,feel stupid in having been vulnerable again with feelings and emotions. How I wish I would have known that blood is thicker than water.
Its ironical as to how things are today, it sure wasn’t the fate but what came as a surprise to all .it didn’t even take 24 hours for the emotions to evaporate but life makes you come across crazy happenings every day and it has once again got me to a standstill yet again with me questioning my own faith in myself. I wont say that it didn’t affect me coz it has shattered me in a lot of ways, but I know that I will come out strong. Will fight my fears and won’t let them haunt me for long .My life revolves around myself and my family and how I wish id realized earlier the meaning of the phrase!!!

“Sometimes it takes an unexpected encounter to put our life in perspective.”
By Ian Harrison.


I wish them well and would always do ,have had soo much to learn and memories that I would eventually try and forget but its sad to be associated to someone and forgotten in a jiffy ,I would try and do that too as it is comfortable to my existence but my mothers words today would always haunt me. .always...Im sorry MOM!!.i know that u being u would forget about it soon but i never would. .it affected you too and I know that for a fact My ‘LIFE’ said that I should have given them a piece of my mind but my respect for that woman is too strong though the feelings now would be hidden .I can never answer back to the people I soo dearly respect and she would always be loved by me and missed and she was and will always be the woman who I soo dearly idolized.!!

I would never forget today but will remind myself what Dad always says”

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out…..

Probably the most important day of my life..turned out to be the worst one..its crazy how some mornings just bring no sun forget the shine and leave u soo cold..wat started as a crazy morning with a flat tyre ,no balance o the phone,people screaming their heads off at u on a busy highway looking at you like it was your choice to stay there in the middle of the NH8 stranded with nowhere to go,fearing the speedy cars wud just crush u on one of the most importnt days of any hoteliers life at the embryo stage....wen i was to appear for an OCLD interview..sitting across that chair in that interview room was never so tough.. like it had been today..it was crazy,my mouth dry ,clueless about the bombarding of seemingly easy.. yet questions i never thought wud be even a part of an interview at that level.aint an excuse in any way.. clearly didnt give them any reason to eve think of recruiting me..its been my biggest failure in a very long time..never been easy 4 me to lose to sum1..never wud be..its hard to face defeat..always was..i never felt it..today i did and then the people who u thought wud have wished well for you never did..like suddenly all the hems came out loose and hanging all of which were once so beautifully knit together..i feel a sense of pain today and defeat..i got plenty strong words to give me sleep though by people who matter..but i miss the ones that once did..i wish em well n just wish they hadnt wished this way...its weird belonging to someone and then suddenly the loop breaks and we hang there in oblivion.absolute darkness..not that i regret..just wish well for those who didnt..wish well for those who said theyd care..am hurt in alot of ways today..i clearly am ,,but let this affcet aint me..i wud never let that happen.its not human to stay unruffled but i proudly say i was true...and gives me great satisfaction in having decided what i did and lets hope for happiness..sincerely..for all of us..sounds philosophical but yeah am in my moods today when i just want to stay curled up in bed and and read a nice book by Coelho and just sipp some good home made tea..miss home today and miss the warmth of those who sinecerely care with or without our faults..reminds me of what they say..the only genuine thing is blood!!