The Power Of Silence!

Shhhhhhhhhhh ... shhh!!!
The "famous silent treatment" that women have forever ushered on the male specie. The weapon that can penetrate hearts that even generous bottles of free alcohol couldn't. The weapon that my grand mom used effectively and passed on to my mom. The same weapon I use on my boyfriend now and then and my mom i know if she knew would secretly smile, revelling in how the student has caught up with the master. If the bard was here today he would've said "Oh what a million words could not attain, a moment of silence did ..." Ladies and gentleman ... my one fiftieth of a dollar on one of womankind's most lethal strengths ...

No trick of the book is as deceptive as this one. All you have to do is keep mum!! Say nothing. It's that simple. Ideally all of us should be able to do it, right? This is when the buzzer rings and the red bulb flashes. Wronggggg!!!! The Silent Treatment is a master's art. One which is subtlety at its best. There are so many parameters and nuances - how long do you keep quiet, when do you start, how do you make the man realize that it's the silent treatment he is being subjected to and not just a peaceful day, what do you say to finally break the silence ... get it? What seems like a simple two step process (keep quiet, speak) is actually more complicated than tying your shoe laces with your arms tied behind your back.

For starters, silence will not buy you the reaction of remorse you want to see in your man. Because just silence will reveal it instantly that you are upset and the man will start with his acts of seeking (or is it pleading) forgiveness pronto. The silent treatment is like wooing a pretty girl - real pleasure requires prolonged pampering. So the trick is to not be completely silent but instead, be decreasingly vocal.

"Wanna go out for dinner?" the man would ask.

"No," you reply. Not a word more. Don't explain anything. Make him wonder if it's actually the beginning of the silent treatment or if it's just a terse reply.

"Wanna go for a movie?" he'll ask you soon, to reaffirm his fears.

"No," you reply again.

That's when the man gets freaked out. He's almost sure that he is being served the mother of all doses but he still has a spec of doubt.

"Are you angry?" he'll ask. Now you will be able to sense the urgency in his tone.

Don't say NO this time. Just nod your head. Maybe add "No, I'm fine."

This is when the man officially freaks out. See the reason why the silent treatment is so effective is because men never know what the woman is so angry for. It's the suspense that drives them nuts. Now all men know they screw up. More times than they should. So there is the guilty moments playing medley in their mind. However, they are just not sure which one blew his lady up.

"Is it because I called up your friend?" "Is it because I did not wash the dishes after eating?" "Is it because I called your mom fat and dad a psycho? WHAT IS IT? Tell me. Tell me." They go berserk in no time.

And that is amazing for the ladies. Without saying anything they figure out all the things they should've been angry for - and that just adds on to their aggression.

At this point ladies, turn up the volume of the act. Gesticulation is thrown in. Start twitching your lips. Do the fake "I'm abt to cry and my eyes are almost red" eye motion. Maybe even sniff and breathe a few sighs. That'll scare the crap out of the man. Coz as I mentioned, the beauty of the Silent Treatment is that men have no clue how severe their blunder is and how long the ordeal will continue. It's like watching a Hindi soap on TV - every week you think that the drama has reached it's peak but things still go on for fourteen years!!!!

And finally the outburst. Don't mess that up ladies. Then you have a great movie with a lame climax. Don't just blurt out "You forgot our five month three day anniversary" and spoil the classic moment. Either shout out loud or shed a few tears when you finally speak - but whatever you do pose the crime back to him as a question - "You don't know why I'm angry? Right? Ask yourself ..." Yes, this will just blow up your man. Then he knows that he is standing in the face of a canon - just waiting for you to blow it up!! And then .... go for the kill.

Sorry men. The silent treatment does NOT work on the ladies. They just think it's blissful silence. Also if done for long enough they don't serve you dinner and just say "If you were hungry, you should have just asked for food." So face it - we might score one up on them by peeing while standing - but when it comes to winning the battle with minimum words - u know why we take the shield home all the time;-)

Pursuit of Happiness

All through our lives, we chase the objects that promise us happiness, like money, love, good times, fame, power, success, etc. But the paradox, is that we never really get happiness. Why? Because we look for it in the wrong place. Outside, not inside. We gallop after all that it flourishes, horse racing, cigarette smoking, Formula One races, partying till the wee hours and what not. But no sooner do we get there than the promised happiness either dissolves or is seen to not exist.

As long as the intellect and the mind do not do their duty by reining in and controlling the senses, the horses will run amok, charging after whatever attracts them without discrimination or restraint. And what happens? The rider never gets to the place he wants to go: peace of mind, happiness, health, even enlightenment.



Most of us pay obeisance to both for we are awfully torn between what we should do and what the heart wants to do...i am all the time. Instead of fusing all our energies into one direction, we fritter them by being pulled into two opposite directions. We long to stay slim, fit and healthy, but no sooner do we see a mutton biryani or hariyali kabab than our goal forgotten and we chomp right into them.My middle nam's a HOG(reminds me that my best friend gave me a superlative saying Nikita:most likely to finish all the food on the table and long for dessert";-)

We long for success but instead of gritting our teeth and working our heads off, we apple polish the boss and bitch about our colleagues. We vow not to gossip or bitch about others but no sooner do we catch hold of a juicy morsel, than we hasten to spread it among our buddies. Life is a long and wearisome struggle to get out of the hold of the devil within and listen to the Right.

When you pursue happiness, it eludes you. however, when you recognise that happiness is the soul’s natural state, all we need to do is eliminate all that comes between one's happiness


My mantra from today will be:Do not try too hard at being happy; just accept the current


In a sense, both the above scenarios are variants of the pursuit of happiness – a mantra of today’s world.

On the material front, When i mastered a cycle, I wanted a kinetic, when i got a kinetic, I wanted to drive acar to school. When I drive an accent today,i wanna see myself driving an Audi A4 in 3years time ...MY list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.

On the status front, the moment we get a promotion, we begin hankering after the next one. A pay hike is good only if nobody else has got a higher one. We want a separate cabin and privacy if the other guy has one. Again, the list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.

Even on the emotional and relationships front, our relationships are evaluated on the basis of how many visits, how many phone calls, how many invitations one gets and gives. We seek to create a perfect family of always smiling people around us, and are disappointed if things are not picture perfect. Yet again, the list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.
I was thinking today why i was unhappy without reason and i realised it's all in mind and the pursuit of a perfect world that we get unhappy....

So i guess its best if we just Scatter sunshine all the way...


One towards lasting happiness and fulfillment, the other towards temporary satisfaction and permanent regret. At the end of our lives, we will be able to gauge which of the two has been our guide and inspiration by examining where we stand. Are we happy, energised, buoyant and radiant? Are we tired, ill, impoverished and unfulfilled?



If you want to go East, don’t go West. If you want to lose weight, don’t eat fattening food. If you want to be fit, don’t give up your exercise. If you want to finish your project, stop chatting with your colleagues and checking the mail..can u imagine that am blogging right now on company time;-),,par gyaan baatne main kya jaata hain??

If you want to get enlightened, stop chasing good times. Refuse to betray your friends or your own values. Refuse to chase money, fame or power at the cost of values or principles. Refuse to indulge the senses.

And lo, your task is done, put the long term over the short term, the principle over expedience, the right over the tempting.

Naked Truth..

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know
We please the fleeting guest
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.

Walking on Eggshells....

William shakespeare in Hamlet said "My words fly up ,my thoughts remain below.words without thoughts never to heaver go"
Be it a relationship,friendship,platonic engagements or anything that is played by adam and eve ....why do we have to undergo the microscopic lethalness of words that people without any idea bestow on us,our character,our relationships,,Why should man want to present himself or any acts in a silver plate to the outside world which otherwise seems so chill and freezes without any regard to the emotion underneath....why should we walk life under the scrutiny????
I have seen perfect relationships around me break into glass pieces without a trace of storm over arguments involving harsh Words....Nicking people with words has become what we say a fashion statement..In yesteryears people engaged in games like dance,drama to engage themslves..today people engage in nicking and slashing people with words,,,words which act like swords in any man's life...which are brutal and always leave stains....and scars which cant be undone.....

"Stick and stones, may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Remember that little rhyme from childhood?
I say its fucking nonsense@@##$$%Z%

Today am dwelling coz one of the closest people in my life was on tenterhooks coz some green eyed bitch could'nt digest a happy life of a counterpart ...... so what do we do put her life upside down..the green eyed biatch mailed the love of her life and fed him with lies puking on the poor girls character and nicking at her for practically even the way she farted in discomfort...they say jealousy thy name is woman..and in every right it is..i havent see any man doing such ridiculous things..
I have experienced jealousy when my guys gaze would linger on a nice looking girl but never like this...face it people there are better people in the world and why be soo judgemental of everyone around you..Does jealousy get the better of us all the time???. folks excuse "nicking" as just being brutally honest. In my experience, most of the folks who brag about being brutally honest enjoy the brutality more than the honesty....Am a straight forward person myself but never have i ever stepped over someone's character...
If the other person tells you that you have no right to your feelings, it may be because they do not really understand how emotions work. Or perhaps they want to divert attention from their own bad behavior by blaming you instead.

I have been in a relationship where i was walking on eggshells but am growing and growning well outta it,its important we realise....
Realize that our emotions belong to us They are real and they are ours. We have a right to respect owr own feelings, values and dignity, and to ask that others do the same.
Moving on to relationships...
Most people get involved in a relationship for the right reasons and leave a relationship for the wrong reasons..i walked outta mine coz i felt abused verbally ,emotionally and when a relationship becomes abusive its time to call it quits coz a relationship without respect is a hollow relationship and i dont think its bad... In fact, most of us have been guilty of it at one time or another and of being a complete spaz demanding we get our way in the relationship. Remember the movie He Said, She Said? A constant power struggle ensues when you make the relationship all about you. So why do we do it?Why do we get into one...Am single but why do i in my head scan people to think if they would be a lasting relationship material..why is there a need always for us to be fussed over by someone of the opposite sex..am blessed in my life with a stable family,care and love and friends who would always back me up..why then do i always sie people and their worth by putting them in the same frame....Do i really need a relationship or is it because people frown when they see single..it is slowly become a synonym for undesired...Am single but definitely not ready to mingle am happy on my own why still when i sleep i have thoughts that make me lonely..calling the realtionship quits was a personal choice i made ..then why do i dwellin my past ..what is that my life lacks..a companion maybe with whom we share our darkest deepest secrets..wonder what am i looking for.definitely not aother relationship.....Am closing my eyes and praying not to lay flat in the trap society nets out for me...i need wisdom and i need prayers to keep the sunshine alive..my life cant be defined by a set of Adams...
I believe the reason this happens is that we make unhealthy relationship choices. In our deepest inner desires, we naturally long for companionship and love in our lives. In our haste, we choose unwisely and compromise for that "next person" that comes along to satisfy that longing. In this context, it's easy to bend and flex because in the beginning we still don't know that person. Then as we do get to know them, we find ourselves making more compromises because we don't have the guts to fess up to our mistakes and all sorts of other irrational reasons rambling through our head to avoid hurting someone else. Bad move, fess up.

Muh new neck accessory :Muh Dog Collar

Just a month through with the TMTP program, as soon as I land in Delhi am welcomed by an excruciating pain in muh left shoulder and neck, So like most of us would do I squeezed out almost half a bottle of volini and a brufin and I announced to myself it’ll be o.k in the morning.. It just grew worse by the night. I cried the pain into the poor pillow but nothing seemed to happen. I lay awake wondering what the bloody pain was all about. Anyway I get dressed in the morning to go to work and forced a smile to my not so smiling face as if to camouflage the pain I underwent. After a yummy treat of banoffee at Big Chill , the afternoon session began …
The pain became unbearable, muh batchmates ,Ass and three otha musketeers as I call em (who are the only sane people in our overhyped program) rushed me to the doc.

Whoa our doc was this Indian version of Richard Gere charm , with salt and pepper hair and a voice as deep as the ocean ,I forgot all about my pain..But the bones that lay in his clinic as decorative structures scared the daylights outta me ,I started imagining if mine would be added there as a souvenir after the visit as well…I was told to get an MRI scan done and man the scan was crazy. I was put in an enclosed shuttle for 20 minutes which at that time seemed a lifetime and my hands were tied with strict instructions not to move an inch or the whole process would have to be restarted. The scan began. Apparently through the sound vibration and the nerve reactions to the sounds which kept getting louder and my tears kept soaking the sheets on which I lay, I was adjudged to have pain in C5 C6 area of the nerve that attached the spine. Thankfully after what seemed an eternity while I had imagined my death and written my will in my head at that time and prayed for muh loved ones
the scan stopped and I was pulled out of the chamber after which I must have wept for good 10 minutes, surprised I was still alive or something.

The whooping bill of Rs.5000 for the scan left me short of a heart attack and my plans of gifts and shopping at GK and our dilli special Sarojini Nagar went down the drain.
With the forced bed rest and a dog collar adorning my neck I felt like a dead camel minus the height bit, I have been a cross between being a junkie and a zombie.
With 9 tablets a day divided between morning noon and night ,I wake up only to have food and then the pills which induce sleep into me again. pain and the pills that keep me drowsy and disoriented through the day. I wake up groggy after a night of fitful sleep, take my morning dose and spend the day in a daze till it is time for my night dose, after which I spend till bed-time nodding off sitting on the sofa flipping through 120 channels after which my hand starts hurting and I give up .

P.S = Am the sort of person who hates the attention and am totally pathetic at responding to the courtesies of how are u feeling beta, is the pain still there (no am just hallucinating it aunty and the pills taste like Cadbury Gems ),oh you look much better to day and I look in the mirror and realise I could scare a Frankenstein’s monster with my physical appearance.
So, I decide to come home .Have been home for 2 weeks now wondering how much I’ve missed and the amount of work ill have to cope up with,.I.ve been dissapointed but the visit to the hospital made me realise that there is so much suffering in our surroundings that people go through, it gave me courage enough to go through the hospitalization for 2 days with continous traction, which is suspending weights from the chin and the shoulder and lying in bed in a constant position.
But am coping with all of it although pain is a lonely place to be but disappointments will always come our way ,we need to laugh em away.To think of a perfect life is wishful thinking ,but guess it’s now that I realise that it takes only me to tell me that I will be fine and trust me if u sleep with that thought u will feel better the next day. So I have chosen a peaceful reaction to life’s disappointments and urge all u out there suffering or just plain disappointed with life to choose the same .During this pain guys I must tell you that I went shopping sneakingly and also danced with muh dog collar on because I choose to be happy and give my strict bed rest a freakin break though its really not recommended coz the pain afta that was unbearable and the answer that I gave to all those people who asked me what happened after looking at me sporting the dog collar to the dance floor ,,my answer was “it’s nothing guys ,am just hiding muh hikkies……
Love ya all..
And hey don’t tell me the cliché “get well soon”which is muh version of temme in advance when would u just kick the bucket ,so I can stitch muh funeral dress)
I’ll pen down by saying “laugh it away” and you’ll recover ..

Overrated TMTP peeka boos

Its always the same feeling.., like a lil girl entering first grade, butterflies in the tummy ,dew drops in eyes with the same sad parting feeling of trading a total comfort zone to coming to terms with a brand new world of fresh faces ,uncanny smiles, jilted expressions..

Take 2 : Picture this:-.a chaotic Indian railway journey with all these new people where Uno served as the only ice breaker. I was so uneasy with the thought of conversation and the verbatim of formal introduction rounds, with eyes scanning to conclude and draw nonsensical judgements on each others nature and past digs .I wondered to myself if this is what I had aspired for. We were these bunch of girls from varied backgrounds, varied cultures spanned across the Indian continent, put together as the chosen ones for the prestigious TMTP from all over India,wonder how they did that though in my case coz am sure a misfit here with all these nerds around me.but the only thing am proud of is that atleast I don’t fake being mtself,i dare to say what I think though its really not appreciated in the kind of industry am in ..but like I really care a fig!!! The fakeness of a few faces alerted my senses , however the warmth and genuinity of a few was a relief. I wonder sometimes why people are not comfortable in their own skin, why pretend being all sugar caramel coating when the insides a burnt bun….personally I come from a background where we respect honest behaviors even if not polished, with an innate ability to sniff the wannabe Goody two shoes who are soo conscious of hiding their trueself....i understand diplomacy but hypocrisy is a major turnoff.....I don’t understand why should people hide who they truly are and what they’ve been., who the f** has the time n energy to get into details but why lie..its crazy how people coat their true self n their past varnishing it with false lies with an attempt to gather sympathy or sometimes just to hide the blemishes, but like h3y say the more u coat these things the more they shine out… .it’s crazy ..just be yourself man. .n wateva and whoeva you are we al rock in our own special ways. .i mean i do (lol;).. cant ignore myself for to long ;))
I longed for a warm hug and a glancing at the watch striking five .my mind longed for my mum's chai session and our famous long conversations in the balcony over and everything under the sun .With an uncomforting solace I forced myself to sleep...
Take 3:
Welcomed by the heat and humidity of Mumbai , the days at the Taj Mahal progressed. We were in the lap of sheer luxury, the extravagance of the full breakfast buffet, from laundry, housekeeping and cab drop a phone call away we were spoilt to the core. .
Just wish this year gets through well hoping to Kick ass …..

Celebrating Women's Day(or just providing SYMPATHY!!!)

Women's Day ...really why is it that the men dont have a day tributed to them like we do ..the real reason coz they are the ones who are truly liberated since the time they fucking start breathing life..i have nothing against Men in general I want to clear that in the first place as am blessed with the not soo traditional male in my life and family who take pride in Me and in all my endeavours but this is crying out loud to the society around me and the average male dominated world still.... when i was reading the newspaper this morning ..i asked myself why is it that we celebrate a day devoted to ode the Women..why not have a men's day...are we really liberated ????..when we earn money and are independent why is that stories of independence are glorified abt girls entering the male bastions and conquering "their world" like they put it..i mean i do everyhting that any Guy could possibly do....but if a girl earns money it is always referred to as "additional income ".that is sheer disgrace ..and the guy is the bread earner and even if the girl earns more than the guy .. Remember ladies it would always be Additional Income...i read an article day before where a woman drowned her 3 girls coz she wanted a boy and the girlchild was a liability as they were poor .. first started with the "Mumbai Molestations" as media referred to it. Two women were groped and pinched in public and the women accused didnt even want to press charges coz of family pressures .. these were educated women.the literate and the aware ones, why has the society become so insensitive and not to forget the boohaa created a self righteous guy went and told the media that it was the girls fault as they were partying on new years eve and were inappropriately dressed and must have been drunk already ..i mean is partying a crime for ladies ... lets first clarify what is an appropriate dress,the saree where in ur breasts are soo prominently shaped and seen from both side angles and the waist which can be seen right till rthe navel not to forget the blouses and the backs and super cleavage eye popping sights..Like if we're covered from head to toe, men would totally keep their hormones in check and worship us? Why is it that the first question that pops up when such a thing happens is about the woman's conduct or lets put it if they were asking to be groped? I mean, WTF I just don't get it.
jeese for christ sake the Le Meridian incident wherein the poor NRI girl was told that giving a BMW as dowry and getting all cozy with the father Inlaw was Indian tradition of having harmony and she should not raise her voice and what is the society doing abt such things,when will we be spared of all this bullshit ...
i recently happened to travel for an interview in Jaipur and i had to travel by bus and this guy oops a man travelling with his wife and child was my biggest threat ,i mean can u imagine the audacity of him staring at me continoulsy for almost three hours and the wife is looking elsewhere not bothered and simply ignoring her beau's tactics to get my attention..wish i was a goons daughter so i could shoot all of these people i mean for christ sake ..when his lil son in the wife's arms started crying and instead of helping his wife to calm the child he looked embarassed..sure he wouldnt be so when he was planning the child or accidently had him..till when will we pretend like all this never happened..fucked up man!!



Pray lets wake up please!!