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Am I Mad ?

Me : I'm Afraid So , Am a Little Bonkers ..But let me tell you a little secret ...Most of the Best People are....


Friday, October 30, 2009

The Power Of Silence!

Shhhhhhhhhhh ... shhh!!!
The "famous silent treatment" that women have forever ushered on the male specie. The weapon that can penetrate hearts that even generous bottles of free alcohol couldn't. The weapon that my grand mom used effectively and passed on to my mom. The same weapon I use on my boyfriend now and then and my mom i know if she knew would secretly smile, revelling in how the student has caught up with the master. If the bard was here today he would've said "Oh what a million words could not attain, a moment of silence did ..." Ladies and gentleman ... my one fiftieth of a dollar on one of womankind's most lethal strengths ...

No trick of the book is as deceptive as this one. All you have to do is keep mum!! Say nothing. It's that simple. Ideally all of us should be able to do it, right? This is when the buzzer rings and the red bulb flashes. Wronggggg!!!! The Silent Treatment is a master's art. One which is subtlety at its best. There are so many parameters and nuances - how long do you keep quiet, when do you start, how do you make the man realize that it's the silent treatment he is being subjected to and not just a peaceful day, what do you say to finally break the silence ... get it? What seems like a simple two step process (keep quiet, speak) is actually more complicated than tying your shoe laces with your arms tied behind your back.

For starters, silence will not buy you the reaction of remorse you want to see in your man. Because just silence will reveal it instantly that you are upset and the man will start with his acts of seeking (or is it pleading) forgiveness pronto. The silent treatment is like wooing a pretty girl - real pleasure requires prolonged pampering. So the trick is to not be completely silent but instead, be decreasingly vocal.

"Wanna go out for dinner?" the man would ask.

"No," you reply. Not a word more. Don't explain anything. Make him wonder if it's actually the beginning of the silent treatment or if it's just a terse reply.

"Wanna go for a movie?" he'll ask you soon, to reaffirm his fears.

"No," you reply again.

That's when the man gets freaked out. He's almost sure that he is being served the mother of all doses but he still has a spec of doubt.

"Are you angry?" he'll ask. Now you will be able to sense the urgency in his tone.

Don't say NO this time. Just nod your head. Maybe add "No, I'm fine."

This is when the man officially freaks out. See the reason why the silent treatment is so effective is because men never know what the woman is so angry for. It's the suspense that drives them nuts. Now all men know they screw up. More times than they should. So there is the guilty moments playing medley in their mind. However, they are just not sure which one blew his lady up.

"Is it because I called up your friend?" "Is it because I did not wash the dishes after eating?" "Is it because I called your mom fat and dad a psycho? WHAT IS IT? Tell me. Tell me." They go berserk in no time.

And that is amazing for the ladies. Without saying anything they figure out all the things they should've been angry for - and that just adds on to their aggression.

At this point ladies, turn up the volume of the act. Gesticulation is thrown in. Start twitching your lips. Do the fake "I'm abt to cry and my eyes are almost red" eye motion. Maybe even sniff and breathe a few sighs. That'll scare the crap out of the man. Coz as I mentioned, the beauty of the Silent Treatment is that men have no clue how severe their blunder is and how long the ordeal will continue. It's like watching a Hindi soap on TV - every week you think that the drama has reached it's peak but things still go on for fourteen years!!!!

And finally the outburst. Don't mess that up ladies. Then you have a great movie with a lame climax. Don't just blurt out "You forgot our five month three day anniversary" and spoil the classic moment. Either shout out loud or shed a few tears when you finally speak - but whatever you do pose the crime back to him as a question - "You don't know why I'm angry? Right? Ask yourself ..." Yes, this will just blow up your man. Then he knows that he is standing in the face of a canon - just waiting for you to blow it up!! And then .... go for the kill.

Sorry men. The silent treatment does NOT work on the ladies. They just think it's blissful silence. Also if done for long enough they don't serve you dinner and just say "If you were hungry, you should have just asked for food." So face it - we might score one up on them by peeing while standing - but when it comes to winning the battle with minimum words - u know why we take the shield home all the time;-)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pursuit of Happiness

All through our lives, we chase the objects that promise us happiness, like money, love, good times, fame, power, success, etc. But the paradox, is that we never really get happiness. Why? Because we look for it in the wrong place. Outside, not inside. We gallop after all that it flourishes, horse racing, cigarette smoking, Formula One races, partying till the wee hours and what not. But no sooner do we get there than the promised happiness either dissolves or is seen to not exist.

As long as the intellect and the mind do not do their duty by reining in and controlling the senses, the horses will run amok, charging after whatever attracts them without discrimination or restraint. And what happens? The rider never gets to the place he wants to go: peace of mind, happiness, health, even enlightenment.



Most of us pay obeisance to both for we are awfully torn between what we should do and what the heart wants to do...i am all the time. Instead of fusing all our energies into one direction, we fritter them by being pulled into two opposite directions. We long to stay slim, fit and healthy, but no sooner do we see a mutton biryani or hariyali kabab than our goal forgotten and we chomp right into them.My middle nam's a HOG(reminds me that my best friend gave me a superlative saying Nikita:most likely to finish all the food on the table and long for dessert";-)

We long for success but instead of gritting our teeth and working our heads off, we apple polish the boss and bitch about our colleagues. We vow not to gossip or bitch about others but no sooner do we catch hold of a juicy morsel, than we hasten to spread it among our buddies. Life is a long and wearisome struggle to get out of the hold of the devil within and listen to the Right.

When you pursue happiness, it eludes you. however, when you recognise that happiness is the soul’s natural state, all we need to do is eliminate all that comes between one's happiness


My mantra from today will be:Do not try too hard at being happy; just accept the current


In a sense, both the above scenarios are variants of the pursuit of happiness – a mantra of today’s world.

On the material front, When i mastered a cycle, I wanted a kinetic, when i got a kinetic, I wanted to drive acar to school. When I drive an accent today,i wanna see myself driving an Audi A4 in 3years time ...MY list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.

On the status front, the moment we get a promotion, we begin hankering after the next one. A pay hike is good only if nobody else has got a higher one. We want a separate cabin and privacy if the other guy has one. Again, the list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.

Even on the emotional and relationships front, our relationships are evaluated on the basis of how many visits, how many phone calls, how many invitations one gets and gives. We seek to create a perfect family of always smiling people around us, and are disappointed if things are not picture perfect. Yet again, the list is endless.
And so is the pursuit.
I was thinking today why i was unhappy without reason and i realised it's all in mind and the pursuit of a perfect world that we get unhappy....

So i guess its best if we just Scatter sunshine all the way...


One towards lasting happiness and fulfillment, the other towards temporary satisfaction and permanent regret. At the end of our lives, we will be able to gauge which of the two has been our guide and inspiration by examining where we stand. Are we happy, energised, buoyant and radiant? Are we tired, ill, impoverished and unfulfilled?



If you want to go East, don’t go West. If you want to lose weight, don’t eat fattening food. If you want to be fit, don’t give up your exercise. If you want to finish your project, stop chatting with your colleagues and checking the mail..can u imagine that am blogging right now on company time;-),,par gyaan baatne main kya jaata hain??

If you want to get enlightened, stop chasing good times. Refuse to betray your friends or your own values. Refuse to chase money, fame or power at the cost of values or principles. Refuse to indulge the senses.

And lo, your task is done, put the long term over the short term, the principle over expedience, the right over the tempting.