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MYSELF

Am I Mad ?

Me : I'm Afraid So , Am a Little Bonkers ..But let me tell you a little secret ...Most of the Best People are....


Friday, May 11, 2007

here i lie wasted...

have come to a stage where all i feel is anxiety..feel like a complete waste..feel like ..well in on e word helpless...torn between what i wanna do..well ask me all i wanna do is get away from home..from being under the constant expectation of making it big and dunno what all.. i sure dnt wanna join any random good for nothing mba coaching.. n be another one in the long rat race..,,my anxiety doesnt come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it maybe..i notice that when am bored i think i am tired of my surroindings like home at the moment..but is it that or am i actually tired of thinking..my thoughts that overcome the better of me all the time,,all depressing ones..its me i guess that jus produces all the discontent..all the unhappiness..i have a nagging fear that anagging self prediction hat watever would come my way would be the same old thing..i know i cant expect imminent change and remain judgemental of the present...

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

death of hospitality..

when i first stepped into the world of real hospitality at the Radisson Berkshire hotel i didnt know that honest laughter had given place to the sniggering bleat now common to polite societyand understood to be the elegantly trained and expression of mirth,the warm handshake in a gr8 measure ,degenerated into the timorous offer of two or three clammy fingers extended dubiously,as with the fear of microbes.and hospitality,large hearted ,smiling and gracious is dead and wrapped in its grave clothes,waiting in stiff corpselike state for its final burial,..the virtue is totally defunctand the spirit has fled ..the art of entertaining is lost and so has the art of conversation and when our so called friends are at home we are often more anxious to find reasons for declining rather than for accepting their invitations,simply coz we know there is no real at home init but merely an out of home arrangement,in which a mixed crowd of people are asked to stand and swelter on staircasesand in drawingrooms pretending to listen to music which one can barely hear...the chief cannon of modern society is hypocrisy today the only tool tht pleases one and all...

Growing Up

i feel we as kids have been sold a lifetime of "commercial dreams" of white weddings, fluffy feathered pillows, cushioned thoughts and oh not soo reaistic illusions of life ..We grow up to expect a fairy tale that evolves around a self-evolving superficial premise that only brings momentary happinessand superficial pleasures. The picture that we create in minds causes mental disharmony when it is not realized as an adult. Work hard not only for yourself but for others (your partner, etc.). This has a double benefit. It allows one to actually achieve a sense of accomplishment while giving you less time to dwell on all the things in life that are soo totally wrong.
i used to wonder and find and do things that wud give me joy which at that time was bunking skul wid muh best pal bunking hers n sittin at the ghat..grab a chilled coke n a pack of chips n goo shoppin if we were rich in th crowded streets but come bak empty handed or wud get caught @home as we were supposed to be in skul remembaa..n marvel at the exquisite nature and enjoy watching the sunset over the water, or singing with friends that wud join in later around a campfire,this wud at that time give us such kicks as i call it and bring true contentment instead of our oh nt soo or so sophisticated frnz who wud frown at being in a place without an air conditioner..and get on the dirty desks with at the sight of a bug 2oofeet away..yeah its a bug n even if it bites..freak man..happiness i feel still is like watching a dog chase its tail - it may brush it, but it will never actually get it.


such creature comforts have become such a prison sentence thesedays i feel. It drives me nuts that they were sooo so restricted and missed out on so much of life. So what if you sweat a little; No, the seat does not have triple-layer cushions for your derriere, but focus on this they wud b Breathe in the fresh air and let it fill their never exercised bodies with joyfor christ sake i feel they wud always be bereft of watching the spectacular sunset throw magnificent colours across the horizon; listen to the birds singing as the water gently laps against the pier.i would always wonder at that time wud they ever make a conscious effort to turn down the air-conditioning and feel the heat a little so one is free from being so "soft"... never being weaned off dependency on creature comforts, missing out on many great wonders of the world…
muh dad always taught me to see past looking for the versace clothes, the oh not so worth it habib haircut, n the manicured varnished nails as he'd put it., and look to the heart of the person you are with, because more often than not the ones that are engrossed in the clothing are also engrossed in the superficial. They may not be the one that stands by your side through thick and thin. They may not be the one that step up to the plate when the going is rough without blame, but with just a commitment to make it right. Determine a person’s sincerity by their actions and not their words. i remebaa his oh soo favourite lines he constantly usedwhich at that time i thought had something to do with the atmosphere..lol;))...
"""""Don't just be a product of your environment. Live effectively. """""
cheers to u dad
mwwaah

Saturday, May 5, 2007

believe

Sometimes lifes just seems to break you down, People hurt you, do not care and mess you around, Your heart constantly feels heavy, And your body has no energy, Your tears well up, But you hide them from everyone, No one knows what is wrong. Depression subdues in your monotonous life, Your day to day living becomes a strife, You look in the mirror and hate the person you see, You want to strive you want to just be, More then you have become now, You want to break from this somehow, But on and on deeper you go, No one to save you from feeling so low. But now I will tell you, You do not have to feel this, Look at yourself and see your beauty, Do not ponder on what other people think, All that matters is what you think, Every person has a reason to be here, So belong in this place, Stand up, show the world what you are, Some will hate you but others will believe in you. Be more then all the lies and the scum, Believe in you and others will too.